it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
