Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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