Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
