I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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