the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
she pinky promised me she was 18
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
