D3 body, D1 cock
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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