I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
