That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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