God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
