he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
