Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
