My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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