Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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