Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
