if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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