Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
