im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
