singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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