Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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