i would punch a child for taco bell
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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