i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
