my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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