everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
