last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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