You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
