you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
