We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
