May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
