Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
