Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
