that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
