So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
