meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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