Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
