I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How does it feel to date your dad?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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