hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
