if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
