One girl and one boy is just not enough.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
