Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
