Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
