MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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