I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
