i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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