True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
