When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I want to fling myself into the sun
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
