I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
