Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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