He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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