So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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