bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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