that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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