The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
