so explain again why im purple
no
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
