Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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